Hi Writers! I am declaring my project here too because it is a book… and a community with it. My book is titled “Extraordinary Moms” subtitled either “Wisdom from mostly the other side” or “A new conversation and new look at how to successfully raise kids with diagnoses like ADHD, Autism, and Anxiety.” I created and led a group of about 2000 women for 5 years, but am ready to move on, to a new group, bolder, louder, and change creating! I am also starting the Extraordinary Moms community as part of my project, with a vision to change the paradigm of our kids from disabled, to actually more capable than we are, if we know how to give them the best environment to thrive! I’m taking my learnings from the original group, and my own “she” roes journey with my 4 kids, and BRINGING IT! My goal is to end the pain, angst, and yes we cause trauma in the name of what we are let to do to “fix” our kids. Education, social, family life, and even sports and activities are really hard for our kids in so many ways. The answer? See them as whole and listen and watch for their wisdom! They show us what they need to do to thrive.

Here’s an example.  My oldest with Autism, was diagnosed at age 3.  The PhD from Stanford told me that he would never be able to take care of himself, that he needed to be with other families with Autism, and that he would be suicidal and really struggle in his teen years.  Fast forward 23 years and he is a Paramedic, taking care of others in emergency situations.  His quest is to be an ER doctor.  Cool right?  But here’s the paradigm shift…

In his path to be a Paramedic, he got a job with a private ambulance company on their special pediatric ambulance.  At the time he was the  EMT/Driver.  They transport PIC U babies all the way to suicidal or very ill teens.  

Autistics are characterized by many different things.  My son has huge IQ, hyperfocus, and this flat, almost monotoned deep bass voice.  He is 7′ tall (TRUTH:) with a presence energy like a giant oak tree that you can lean upon.  Who sits in the front of the ambulance with him?  PARENTS who are freaking out about their new baby or troubled or sick teen.  They can’t ride in the back, so they ride with him.  And his almost unemotional calm demeanor is PERFECT to help them endure this stressful time.  His low voice like a warm blanket as he reassures them on the ride.

Who he is, is perfect!  When I figured that out at about age 16, everything changed. His hyperfocus created his career.  His brilliance supported it! And his career is perfect for helping him do better socially. He is taught rules of engagement as part of his training.  For example “These are the elderly. They talk a LOT!  They often need company so being in your ambulance is an adventure or at least a chance to talk to somebody.  You handle them best by listening, allowing them to talk about things that may seem out of date or even incorrect.  You are to focus on making them feel comfortable so that their health issues don’t escalate along the way.”  Autistics love rules!  So he has grown exponentially in his ability to respond to others’ needs in the name of doing a good job.  Autistics don’t easily relate to others’ needs.  It’s part of the diagnosis.  Here, his job taught him i the perfect way!  

There are so many more avenues and examples of how his chosen path, was perfect for him, and he perfect for it!

My book opens with a tearfully written apology for buying in to what we as Mothers are told we need to do to “help” our kids.  New Mom’s devour the book series “What to Expect when you’re Expecting” and it’s subsequent books up until about age 5.  Born in 1994, almost 30 years ago, I needed the book, “What to do when all fucking expectations are shattered by a diagnosis and incorrect and damaging predictions from Doctors and Psychologists.”  Not only does my son take care of others, he saves lives everyday. He is a happy, driven, thriving young adult.  

As a parent it all starts with how we see them. We have a ton of help in seeing them as broken, incorrect, even less than.  The journey of raising them was and still is excruciating for most.  I know because I did it, and I watched it with 2000 women for 5 years!  

 I feel called to loudly exclaim that they are whole and perfect and well suited in their “ways” to lead us into our new world.  Gates, Bezos, Musk, Einstein, all have/had very autistic characteristics.  They are not less than, they are superpower humans…

CTI ers if you are a parent of a kid with these diagnoses and have something to share, or comment, please contact me!  I’ll be nose down writing this book and starting up this new community!  

The Impossible part, is that I want 180000 members, a written and published book, by the end of our project!   Woot!

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