The Secret of Thought for Teens (#837)

One of my favorite things about sharing the principles behind the inside out understanding of the human experience is that even after all these years I still feel like a relative newcomer to the field. And each time I tell myself “Now I really get it”, I’m hit in the head by a new insight that makes me feel almost embarrassed about what seemed cutting edge to me yesterday.

There is a timeless quality to this wisdom – once you see it, it’s so obvious that you can’t quite believe you didn’t see it before. Recently, I came across a letter for teens from a principles-based consultant named Mavis Karn which Richard Carlson republished in his book What About the Big Stuff? She expresses what she calls “the secret of thought” so beautifully I wanted to share it with you in its entirety today…

Dear Kids (and former kids),

I have a secret to tell you, Nobody meant to keep it from you…It’s just that it’s been one of those things that’s so obvious that people couldn’t see it…like looking all over for the key that you have in your hand.

The secret is that you are already a completely whole, perfect person. You are not damaged goods, you are not incomplete, you are not flawed, you are not unfinished, you do not need remodeling, fixing, polishing or major rehabilitation. You already have within you everything you need to live a wonderful life. You have common sense, wisdom, genius creativity, humor, self esteem…you are pure potential…you are missing nothing.

The only thing that can keep you from enjoying all that you already are is a thought. One thought, your thought. Not someone else’s thought. Your thought . . . Whatever thought you are thinking at the moment that feels more important to think than feeling grateful, alive, content, joyful, optimistic, loving and at peace. . . that’s the only thing that’s between you and happiness.

And guess who’s in charge of your thinking? Guess who gets to decide where your attention goes? Guess who gets to write, produce, direct and star in the moment you’re in the middle of? You! Just you. Not your past (stored thought), not the future (did you ever notice that it never, ever shows up?), not your parents (they all think their own thoughts), or your friends (ditto), or school or television or situations or circumstances or anthing else. Just you.

Thinking is an awesome capability. Like any capability it can be used wither as a tool or as a weapon against ourselves and others. And just like with any other tool, we can tell whether we’re using it for or against ourselves by how it feels. When we think against ourselves or others, we get in trouble. When we don’t, we usually stay out of trouble.


So, please remember that your thoughts are not always telling you the truth. When we’re in low moods, feeling down, our thoughts are not be be trusted…our IQ drops. When our thoughts pass and we lighten up, our thinking is once again creative, positive…our IQ goes up.

The only way you can feel badly about yourself and your life is if you think badly about them…it’s up to you, every single minute you’re alive. It’s always up to you! This is the best, most liberating secret I ever learned, and I want you to know it too.

With love,

My fondest hope is that you will read this letter and take it’s message of hope to heart. And then that you will share it with every teenager, parent, and teacher that you know.

With all my love,

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