If you missed part one, you can read it here.
When I first began coaching “high impact” clients, I wondered what it was I had to offer them. After all, many of them were already wealthier and more successful in the eyes of the world than I was. Yet I knew that they were getting something of value from our work together because they kept coming back and they kept referring their friends and colleagues.
So I asked the only people I could think of who might be able to answer that question – my clients themselves.
The overriding theme in all their answers was that as a result of the transformative conversation, they felt less stressed, less insecure and more grounded and at peace with life in general and their lives in particular.
One client summed it up by saying “I’d built an empire on quicksand, and now I feel that I’ve finally shifted my foundations onto solid ground.
And that’s when I got what was really going on – what the change was that changes everything:
We live our lives as if the better we can make the outside world, the better our experience on the inside will be. But the reality is 180 degrees away. Our moment by moment experience of life is being created from the inside out.
Using the power of thought, the gift of consciousness, and the infinite resource of mind, we inform our senses and create the world we inhabit. As the physicist David Bohm once said, “Thought creates the world, and then says ‘I didn’t do it!’
When we live our lives as if success leads to happiness, wealth leads to security, and circumstances dictate experience, we are subject to all the insecurities, doubts, and fears that have become so familiar they are considered normal. But the moment we glimpse the inside-out nature of reality, we see that happiness leads to success, security leads to wealth, and our thoughts create our experience.
Life gets less scary because we begin to see the kindness of the design.
To better understand how this shift plays out in our lives, consider the following analogy:
Imagine building a sandcastle on the very edge of an ocean. You enjoy the process and when you are finished, people come along to admire your work. One person is so impressed that they ask you to build a castle for them as well. Soon, you are so in demand that you have a team of people building castles along with you, and your wealth grows and your fame spreads throughout the land. Over time, you have created a whole world of sandcastles and your name has become synonymous with “sandcastle excellence”.
But the more you build, the less pleasure you take in the process. Because no matter how long and hard you work, and no matter how beautiful your castles are in the eyes of the world, you are continually watching out of the corner of your eye for the ocean to come and take it all away. Even if you worked tirelessly, building all sorts of moats and barriers to protect the world you have created, you would always know in the back of your mind that it was only a matter of time until everything you had worked so hard to create would disappear back into the ocean and sand.
Each new sandcastle you are asked to build becomes one more thing to worry about. What if this one doesn’t live up to the ones that came before? What if this is the one that finally reveals you as a fraud?
Soon, the stress of continually worrying about everything that could go wrong and having to produce at the highest level begins eating away at you. Coupled with the nagging sense that it could all be taken away from you at any moment, you face the beach each morning with dread instead of joy.
Now imagine someone came along and showed you that the source of your well-being, success, and security was not in the world you had created. That nothing that’s really yours can be taken away from you, and whatever can be taken away from you was never really yours.
As a result of your conversation with this person, you come to see that your capacity to create new things is unlimited, and you begin to live with a deeper understanding of the infinite creative capacity of your own mind.
You even gain a glimmer of insight into something bizarre that the person said to you – that you don’t need to fear the ocean because you are the ocean.
You return to the beach refreshed and renewed. You might decide to build less or you might decide to build more, but you know that you will never again build something you don’t want in hopes that it would bring you something you don’t need.
People are drawn to the sense of peace and well-being they feel in your presence, and your feeling of connection with the ocean and the sand becomes so profound that you never feel alone again…
When you begin to understand the inside-out nature of the human experience, life gets considerably simpler. There is only one cause – thought – and an infinite number of effects. Behind all those thoughts is the mind or space in which they arise. And since everything unfolds inside that space, nothing can go wrong except an unrecognized thought that things should be different than the way that they are.
With the best will in the world, no one can make you see this. And until you glimpse it for yourself, I know from experience it can sound esoteric and hopeful at best and confusing or downright naive at worst.
So I encourage you not to believe me and not to have faith. Just look and listen for yourself from the quietest mind and most beautiful feeling you can find. Hang out in the unknown. Spend time with people who carry a sense of peace and well-being along with them.
And if you stay in the conversation and keep looking in this direction, I promise you that what you see and hear will change your world for the better…
All my love,